Books about sex can be sublimely hit or miss. The last thing you want when snuggling up with a healthy page-turner is a narrative that is clinical, judgmental, boring or leads to disastrous thinking in and out of the sack.

But if you want some tips on how to spice up your sex life, then tackling your sexual self is the place to start. We explore the best books for learning all about the art of sex and the self…

Mating in Captivity – Esther Perel

Everyone’s favorite guru on the art of relationships, Esther Perel is famed for her therapeutic approach to relationships, rethinking infidelity, and fighting to keep the flame burning in long term relationships. This isn’t your run of the mill roleplay advice, but a whole new insight into how to have a better sex life. We love how she places emphasis on the fact that spontaneity and sex is all a myth and that doing a good job between the sheets isn’t a natural gift but takes time and practice.

Come as You Are – Emily Nagoski

Sublime sex educator, Emily Nagoski guides women through the often-baffling world of pleasure. Non-judgmental and with a more manual approach than simply musing about the philosophy of pleasure, this book is a delight to plunge into and every inch is backed up by the beauty of science and data should you need the stats to get excited. We like that this book doesn’t just focus on between the sheet romps when exploring how to have a fulfilling time getting in touch with your own body.

Three Women – Lisa Taddeo

Highly anticipated and flowing more like fiction than fact, Three Women takes a good hard look at the sex lives of three American women over the last ten years. While it was critiqued for not being diverse enough, some women will for sure recognize themselves between the pages of the bestseller and it does a decent job of unraveling the spools that help curate our modern vision of sexuality and makes us feel less alone.

Becoming Cliterate – Dr. Laurie Mintz

For the most part, we were raised in a world that saw sex as a simple act of in and out, but Dr Laurie Mintz is here to set the record straight. Teaching us all about the pleasure gap, the anatomy of the vagina and breaking down all the myths surrounding orgasm, this book is a bible for those who want to get literate about the clitoris and remove the mystery to make way for pleasure.

The Ethical Slut – Janet W Hardy and Dossie Easton

The modern book that helped to redefine people’s opinion on polyamory, The Ethical Slut is all about opening up. Even if you don’t want to open up your relationship to be polyamorous, there are a ton of great lessons to take away from the text. Emotional honesty, healthy boundaries, unflinching communication, and going for growth – all these things can make any sex life healthier, happier and less of a hubris.

Which sex books do you suggest? Share your favorite pages in the comments and let’s boost our bodily relationships together.