We could be filling your head with all kinds of erotic kinks and athletic positions for better sexual pleasure in the coming year. However, we think that good sex goes beyond bodily contortions and actually comes from a healthy educated mindset. Many of us don’t question what we actually think or feel about sex, and we often take an outsiders point of view when it comes to deciphering if we are having a good sex life or not. Getting to know your body, understanding preconceived notions about sex, and unravelling the stories we are sold can equip us with the tools for tantalizing times ahead. Here are a few ways to work towards having better sex in 2020.
One sure-fire way to find your feet in the bedroom is to get educated. For some bizarre reason, many of us think that we should be born good in bed. Sex, like anything else, takes practise, knowledge, and some form of education. Do your homework – download courses like OMG Yes, read books, get tips, and take yourself off for some solo experiments so you can work out what you like.
Take The Heat Off
We have preconceived notions about what great sex looks like. There are so many rumors flying around about multiple orgasms, sweltering positions, and hours at a time tumbling between the sheets. This is a whole lot of pressure to put on yourself. Having tall ideas as to what your sex life should look like is going to make the mountain hard to climb. Concentrate first on small bites. What feels good, what doesn’t and again – ingest the sexual stories of others. Everyone’s sex life is fraught and complicated and the more open we are about seeking out these stories, the lighter the load will feel.
We aren’t just talking about reconnecting with your partner, but with your body. In the modern world, it's so easy to disconnect from the neck down and to drift through life like a floating head. Learning to tap back into your body will help you to get to know it better, to build a positive relationship, and to learn to listen to what your body wants. This can help us to stay present, to connect better physically, and to let the body lead when it comes to sexual gratification.
Feed Your Mind
Being mindful about how you digest information about sex can also lead to a more fulfilling sex life. We all have ideas as to what sex should look like and we all get this information from external sources. While everyone should feel free to explore and consume sexual material without judgement it is worth checking in with yourself and making sure that you understand the nuances behind consuming erotic material. Pornography can be a double-edged sword and sells us certain ideas about sex, while we aren’t suggesting you cut yourself off, it's worth being mindful of the messages you are consuming.
Find Your Voice
It can be difficult to ask for what you want between the sheets, but it’s the only guaranteed way to have a good time. It’s nice to think that intuition and a red-hot connection will propel us forward to better sex, but the truth is; communication will be the ticket that takes us to a more fulfilling sex life. Learning to find your voice during sex is tricky and takes time, patience and trust. Communicate with your sexual partners and let them know what works and what doesn’t.